You know those friends who won’t stop talking about their boyfriends? They go on and on about how he has the perfect penis. Their boyfriend is supposedly the most attentive, loving creature, and the best at oral sex. “Someday you’ll understand.” The next time they want to tell you about their romantic Valentine’s Day plans and “perfect” sex life, tell them about your night. Eight orgasms in a half-hour.Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 4 comments
I’m not going to sit here sipping on my Coors and say that America invented doggie style. But we did invent the pill.Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 0 comments
There’s nothing sexier than man’s best friend. Dogs make bland, unattractive people incredibly sexy. Or at least bearable to be around. Kloff, the iPhone app that helps pet owners mate with other pet owners, has discovered the top five breeds that make men more attractive. But what do the five sexiest mutts say about your man?
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No wait, that’s not you. That’s your fantasy self that’s having sex next to a babbling brook. That is of course when you’re not riding on the back of a unicorn…Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 0 comments
Many men think they can tell if a woman is faking an orgasm, but they’ve been watching women fake it over and over again in porn. They even epitomize these “climatic” moments as their greatest sexual fantasies.
Well, I hope your fantasy isn’t pounding away while a woman pretends to love your penis. Because that’s what a lot of porn is.Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 0 comments
A special thanks to these coital claymates for modeling the best sex positions…Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 0 comments
Sir Richard’s Condom Company makes me want to wrap up in flannel and make passionate love in a cozy log cabin. The perfect combination of hipster and do-gooder, Sir Richard’s cruises around Boulder, Colorado (Sir Richard’s HQ) in an adorable plaid Volkswagen Van and gives away condoms to developing countries. Please marry me Sir Richard’s! Or at least take me for a ride in your sweet love mobile.
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I don’t care if your penis isn’t super-sized or if you can’t last forever. Some of the worst sex of my life has been with dudes with big penises, and even bigger egos. I regrettably lay beneath his sweaty body– clitoris untouched– while he endlessly pumps away. When God will it end?
Sound familiar ladies?Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 0 comments
Many consider the Hand Job (HJ) a lost art form– an uncherished relic from Sophomore year of High School. When a BJ seems too ambitious, you give dry-handed tug. The hand job is half-assed because people don’t put their hearts into it, and don’t use nearly enough lube…Read More» Posted by Kelsi | 3 comments