Dear Emily,

My wife has a really bad gag reflex, to the point where she gags while brushing her teeth or flossing.  Is there anything we can do to help lessen the reflex so that she can give me oral without gagging?  I’m not saying this because I’m big and I gag her with it, I’m average for sure. When we were dating she would give me BJ’s, but never liked it because she’d gag some (plus the taste).  I’d love it if she’d be able to do this for me sometimes, even just to get me ready for intercourse.

Thanks!

T

Dear T,

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If she has a bad gag reflex she should focus on the tip, which is the most sensitive part of the penis. Instead of trying to put your entire penis in her mouth she can give you a hand job while licking and sucking on the tip. A helpful hand  can also give more momentum, and even help some men orgasm sooner. Anyone who has ever surfaced, gasping for air, asking “are you almost there”? can appreciate a quicker finish.

She might also try humming. First it feels good, and second it’s hard to gag when you’re humming. Also, relaxation is key for her. It might just soften that reflex.