How to Masturbate
Dear Emily,
Okay, this is a little embarrassing, but I can’t masturbate. There is no amount of touching myself that will turn me on. I have no problems with a partner stimulating me but when it comes to “special alone time” I’m SOL (shit out of luck). Now I’m in a long-distance relationship and I’m dying without the sex. I want to try a vibrator but I don’t know what kind of stimulation I like because I can’t masturbate. I don’t even know if a vibrator will help. What advice do you have for this situation?
Thanks!
Liz
Dear Liz,
You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about. Many women have this same challenge with masturbation but don’t talk about it. If you aren’t sure how you orgasm the best place to start is with clitoral stimulation. The clitoris contains about 8,000 nerve endings so there’s a good chance some of these nerves will kick in for you. Up to 75% of women who have orgasms require clitoral stimulation. Some women find that circular motions with your fingers work well when touching your clitoris, others like more indirect stimulation. It’s important to spend time exploring your body before deciding that masturbation doesn’t work for you.
A friendly map of the clitoris:
For vibrators, you can start with something small and simple like the Water Dancer (the new waterproof version of the Pocket Rocket) or if you really want to bring it home (the orgasm, not the boyfriend) get a Hitachi Magic Wand. This is a powerful device that generates pleasure that many women didn’t know was humanly possible.
If you’d like to feel turned on before you masturbate try getting yourself in the mood with a warm bath or try Skype Sex with your partner. You can both start touching in front of each other and see where that takes you. You can even show off your new toy . Once the two of you are finally reunited, you might just find you enjoy sex even more. You’ll be so much more educated on what makes your body feel good which is really what it’s all about: understanding your own body so you can experience pleasure and eventually relay this information to your partner.
I wish you luck and endless self-pleasure!
xxx
Emily
